Determination in reverse
This is a story of a girls determination to never cow down to parental pressure. Usually we hear of heroic individuals who surmount great odds to achieve greatness. They persevere single-mindedly against financial and social pressures to achieve their dreams. This narrative is about a person who did exactly the opposite.
It was my fathers dream that I become a violinist. He loved the sound of the instrument and had wanted to learn it growing up. Due to financial constraints and other family responsibilities, he was unable to do so. So he bequeathed the dream to me– only I did not want it. I thought bharatnatyam with its beautiful clothes and jewelery was cooler than sitting around pulling a bow over 4-strings. Additionally, at the time, I did not really enjoy or appreciate classical music.
Given that we were in an place where carnatic violin teachers were non-existant, appa started me off on Hindustani track with Mr R.S. Mr R.S was a skinny, kurtha-clad, partially bald Marathi gentleman in his 50s who was employed at the local All India Radio station. He would patiently teach me the basics and that is where we got stuck. We stayed at the basics for years. With no interest I would not practise outside classes and consequently Mr R.S did not see it fit to teach me advanced lessons– much to appas frustration. Luckily for me, Mr R.S. decided to accept an job offer in the US and that marked the end of our mutually frustrating efforts– to teach on his part, and not to learn (on my part.)
After a blissful but brief lull, teacher #2 was presented. Mr G was a professor at the local music college and wanted to revisit the basics–again. So we spent a whole year before he (thankfully) became busy preparing for the festival of India in which he was participating. How serendipitous.
Unfortunately, by this time, appa had managed to locate not just one but two experts in carnatic compositions. He wanted to ensure against any further discontinuities in instruction…so he hired them both! Teacher #3 was an idli and filter coffee loving bachelor working at a local bank. He had a fascinating unibrow, and his moustache was half the length of his unibrow and equally lush. All-in-all, a hairy pudgy bachelor. Amma would give him coffee and snacks after each lesson. He was more interested in having an audience (me) to display his musical talents than in actually imparting knowledge. Teacher #4 on the other hand was a old retired gentleman who cycled miles from outside the city to instruct me.
As if these irritating classes were not enough, whenever “dignitaries” (mostly relatives) visited our home, Appa would casually but proudly (without consulting me) volunteer me to play for their entertainment. Kind of like in those Jane Austen BBC productions where one of the daughters is randomly asked to perform at the piano while everybody sits around…
When I revisit those days now, it confounds me to realize that I made so limited progress beyond the geethams inspite of extraordinary efforts on part of my father and well-intentioned instructions from so many teachers.
What finally bailed me out were my SSC and HSC exams. Both these provided perfectly valid excuses to discontinue any further attempts to perfect the violin. Amma intervened “avalluku tution ka apparam time e kadakyaruthu illai” (she does not get time at all after the tutions). Whew!
Lest I appear ungrateful, I am very thankful now for all the efforts from parents and teachers. Despite remaining a novice with the violin, those classes were not a waste. I can understand and appreciate all kinds of music today in no small measure because of those years. Whether it is U. Srinivas, Hari Prasad Chaurasia, Rachmaninoff, or even Harris Jeyaraj, I can enjoy…
Navarathiri 2009
We had a good navarathiri this year (19th october to 28th october).
We made neivedyam daily. These would be one or more of the following items:
- Puliyodarai (tamrind rice)
- Ellu Sadah (sesame rice)
- Ellu Vella Podi (sesame and jaggery powder)
- Ven pongal
- Chakkarai pongal
- Aamai vadai
- Payasam
- Sundal
Overall it was a good experience.
Mission Impossible
Keeping my house clean and organized is impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I am not looking for glossy-magazine clean. Being able to walk over the carpet without having to dodge toys, clothes, envelopes and books will do just fine. It was challenging enough with a husband who thinks the floor to be an extension of the closet and desk. Now we are joined by a toddler who views the house as her toypen. As a result I am constantly scooping up toys, clothes, books and bills. The husband magnanimously volunteered to cook last night only to have me cleanup a mini hurricane in the kitchen after the event. By the way, the pizza turned out very well so ‘thank you dear’.
Are the homes in these magazines and sites for real? Do real families live there and are they always as clean? Or are they like the airbrushed models–digitally remastered after heavy makeup aimed at pushing the rest of the population into self-hate. How do the people in these homes convince the rest of the family to keep the place tidy? Time for the media to do an exposee at real homes on an averge weekday just like the ones where they show stars and models without makeup. That is one show or site I am willing to frequent.
The budding fashionista
Little Bee is a budding fashionista. Over the past week she has demonstrated her primary interest in fashion in no uncertain terms. Please note, both her parents are slobs when it comes to dressing up. To start with, she has her own sense of fashion. She will bring clothes to us almost every 30 minutes and request us to change them by the simple utterance of the word “this”. We quietly obey. Initial resistance on our part was met with loud cries so we took the easy way. One of her more favored ensamble is a shirt worn by her mother during her teenage years and a beaded belt presented by one of Bees aunts.
Next comes the lipgloss, Bee loves lipgloss, although she lacks the co-ordination to confine the application to her lips. So she ends up with pink color all over her lower face. She constantly roams around with a cylinder and wand of the cosmetic in her hand, all ready to deal with an emergency just in case either of her parents wipe off the colorings from her face. Within a few sconds the liqui-paste is repplied.
The third fashion item in the series are footwear, Bee loves wearing circular and donut shape objects on her feet. The candidates so far have been bangles, wheels from a toy set and donut shaped toys.
All this has caused mommy to set aside her engineer ambitions for Bee. On the other hand mommy will probably get the fashion makeover afterall.
The Vegas of today is not for women
I just returned from a holiday to Las Vegas. I was shocked at the degeneration in the entertainment. Sleaze has become more commonplace. The place is primarily targeted towards men of all ages and with money to spare to indulge in differrent levels of carnal pleasures. Every major casino has screenfuls of women in suggestive poses and minimal clothing soliciting participation. One add stated that “the headress weighs 35lbs while the rest of the outfit would fit in a teacup”. Being a hard working ,middle class working mother in less than ideal shape the last thing I need on a well deserved vacation is to see mega screens for skimply clad women in great shape (as required by their profession). Added to this were the men on the sidewalks handing out cards with contact information to the pros. It was infuriating and I am sure it had a similar effect on other women in my demographic. The marketing executives at the casinos need to understand that they are trying to win the battle (against the recession) by losing the war (increased user base). You cannot attract families by alienating the average women. They need to work towards cleaner entertainment.
Marriage anniversary of my dreams
I will wake up in an immaculate room and there will be breakfast on my bedside (rava idli, chutney and filter coffee). Having freshened up I will consume breakfast while browsing through my book of the moment. Both my husband and daughter will wish me and give me affectionate hugs and retreat quietly to their activities. I would then finish breakfast and dress in the clothes purchased for the occasion. I would be greeted by a bouquet of roses and a few other gifts (jewelery, perfume and clothes are welcome). We would then go out for buffet lunch as a family. Having relaxed in the afternoon (during which my daughter will be perfectly behaved and not throw any tantrums).We would have a baby sitter for the evening when my hubby and I would go to a romantic movie sweetened by an even more romantic dinner where we recount the high and humorous points of our marriage. My husband would reaffirm would profess his love for me ‘Mills and Boon’ style. He would also tell me that I am a good wife and a good mother. Of course, being self absorbed, I would primarily be on the receiving end.
Teach the toddler links
http://www.learningplanet.com/act/abcorder.asp http://www.starfall.com/ http://www.sitesforparents.com/ http://www.literacycenter.net/lessonview_en.htm# http://treehousetv.com/kids/games/activity.aspx?ID=823&showID=90 http://www.worksheetworks.com/
Fitness goals
I need to loose 15 lbs of my post pregnancy flab. I am planning on following the Body-For-Life program which has a span of 12 weeks. This involves working out 6 times a week alternating between weights and aerobics. For diet, I plan on the following
Breakfast:2 wheat bread toasts + cup of tea (250 cals) OR Berry smoothie
Lunch: Salad (300 cals)
Snack: cereal (300 cals)
evening snack: toasts+tea
Dinner: 1/4 cup cracked wheat + accompaniment of the day
I will also be tracking my progress on my blog.
Foods to avoid
[1] Fried foods
[2] white rice more than once a week
Immi diaries
Why Immie? Because my 15-month old prefers to call me Immi as oppsed to Amma or Mummy.When she is looking for me she walks around the house saying Immi, Immi.. I love it.
What has she taught me over the past few months?
That I influence her more with who I am than what I say to her explicitly. That I need to balance between setting limits to safegurad her and letting her explore and learn. Commmitment to the daily care of another human being. Patience (a great deal), understanding, creative thinking.
What are the main challenges I have faced in parenting her and how did I resolve them?
[1] Getting her to eat solids
Foodwise, I have a book on Baby and Toddlers recipes from the library that I am using, so far she seems to like the recipes for 6-month olds (she is currently 15 months old). Lesson learnt, try to understand your infants unique needs and try to resolve it creatively. None of the advise from either my mother of mil helped in getting Lil B transitioned to solids. Three thing have helped, one- going to daycare (where peer pressuse makes her eat), two- reducing milk intake and three- “Cooking for Babies and Toddlers”- by Sara Lewis.
[2] Hard poop
Prune juice has worked wonders with the hard poop. We dilute the whole milk and add 1 tbsp prune juice per milk+water mixture. We used to give her Benefiber as a stool softener on the pediatricians counsel but discovered that her poop was white and that scared us. I am surprised the pediatrician prescribed the benefiber as opposed to the more natural prune juice alternative. Foodwise, I am giving her vegetable puree and applesauce and steering off from rice, cheese and bananas.
